“Frozen” is a feeling I have a lot lately. Can’t bring myself to do anything. Aimlessly sit there and get anxious about the fact that I’m accomplishing nothing. Cry for a while. Procrastinate some more. Flip through the news and digest nothing from the words in front of my face. Do a bit of work in the evening after kid is in bed because I failed at daytime. Beat myself up for not being able to handle anything. You know, fun times.
I go to a support group tonight. I’m dreading new people. It’ll be a mixed group rather than widow(er) specific (couldn’t stomach going to a group full of mainly retirement age folks; their “worst case” of losing their partner at 60 or something was already my “best case”). Who knows if I will feel it’s worthwhile.
But I’ll try it in hopes it helps.
I know I’m not alone in experiencing loss but I feel alone in the intensity of my grief.