It’s all bullshit, the things people say about how to write about your grief, make it something that transforms you. There is no hopeful path there is nothing redeeming in this, no making grief make you a different or better person, some fucking life lesson to be gotten. Don’t fucking land on the wrong side of chance, what kind of lesson is that. Fuck everything. I don’t expect to transform I just expect to survive bitter and gnarled full of vicious dark

I would tear the fabric of the universe if I could to get back to you

Why do I have to lose you so soon? The fundamental injustice, unfairness of it is overwhelming

I would take the bargain I’d always take the bargain to have any time with you

but I wish there was a devil I could sell my soul to, to have you back