in today’s installment of why am i crying

I saw a marketing message in your email from a wooden swingset/playset manufacturer. 

I’m heartbroken, furious, that you don’t get the chance to choose one. We talked about getting a giant, amazing, overpriced thing, something that would fit in the yard but still be reminiscent of a Robert Leathers playground, like the one our community used to have but which has been replaced by a mass-market plastic and metal thing.

There’s probably a name for the phenomenon where people want to live out their childhood dreams by spoiling their kid in specific ways. I feel like we weren’t too bad about it, but if there was one thing besides LEGO that we both wanted to do that with, it was a cool swingset. 

I alternately want to give up on the idea and just get some play equipment eventually, or want to promise I will follow through on your desire to have the most awesome playset that we both would have drooled over as kids, treehouse or castle-like, for pretend and adventure and swinging and climbing. I just don’t know if I can choose it without you.