I lost it on the way out of Rite Aid today because I saw a Papyrus display and my thoughts were something like

Pretty cards

Zack remembers that I like those

I should look to see if there are any cool ones for upcoming holidays or just to have on hand

Wait I don’t care about holidays because Zack is dead and what is the point of celebrating anything ever again

There was a Papyrus store near his one doctor’s office in NYC. He encouraged me to go in but I said let’s just be a few minutes early for your appointment we’ll go in next time

July 19 was supposed to be next time. 

Was supposed to be the appointment where we started to get a better idea that treatment was working and that would hopefully put us at ease. Help reassure us on prognosis

Instead July 19 was a month from the last time I saw him conscious. Fuck the universe.